“Make your Ethical Will now!”

By

Gerry Niskern

We’ve just celebrated the beginning of a new year and our country is getting ready to swear in a new president.
What better time to stop and consider the ethics and morals that your family has always believed in and practiced

HAVE YOU MADE YOUR ETHICAL WILL YET?

Actually, ethical wills have been around for a long time, but are becoming more popular. The Hebrew Bible first described ethical wills 3000 years ago. References to this tradition are also found in the Christian Bible and in other cultures, including Islam.
Ethical wills are a way to share your values, not just your valuables. You can communicate your hopes and dreams for the future generations of your family. Your morals, regrets and yes, your opinions, are included. . The wills are usually written by people at a turning point in their lives. Such as when they are facing challenges or transition periods.
It is not a legal document; rather it is a record of your nonrepresentational wealth. Although parents would like to see their children financially provided for, they also would like to leave some philosophical provisions as well. After all, what else can we give our children but who we are?
Of course, I’m sure you are thinking, as I am, of the many phrases uttered by parents or grandparents you heard while growing up. One of my mother’s favorites comes to mind, “Be kind and respectful to the elderly; life is hard”. When I would argue, “But Mom, what if they are not nice to me”, she always replied, “That doesn’t matter, we still respect the old.”
Or perhaps one of my grandmother’s admonishments, “Don’t go where you no belong”. Her command of English was not good, but her advice still serves a purpose in our family. These samples are not exactly an ethical will, but certainly the makings of one.
Writing an ethical will does not require enormous learning or wisdom. It’s what you have to give. Every will is as unique as the person writing it, but there are common themes. Personal values are important to mention, as well as “life lessons learned.” Families are mentioned again and again in the samples I’ve read. “ Take care of the family, value the family, and even instructions on how to maintain the goodness of the family.”
Some people may have trouble creating their ethical wills. Here are four suggestions. The first is to make a list and use an outline. There are both software and books that can provide these outlines and resources.
Second, you might write down your thoughts and opinions, knowledge and insight you learned from significant people in your life.
Third, start keeping a journal, over a period of time, themes will emerge that you can use in drafting your ethical will.
The fourth involves getting professional help. An experienced writer can help you express your thoughts, feelings and beliefs in writing. For a modest fee, they can explore your values and opinions with you and provide a document for your approval.
Many newlyweds sit down and share their values in ethical wills. It doesn’t matter whether you are an engaged couple, new parents, divorcing, empty nesters, or end of lifers; there’s no time like the present. Not everyone can pass along a financial legacy, but everybody can transmit some of the richness of life by creating an ethical will. You have lived and learned and have feelings to pass on. Just be yourself. Open your heart and write.
It will be a gift that your family will cherish.