“Remember”
By
Gerry Niskern
The word that unites all families is Remember!
That’s what it is all about. When I was a child Memorial Day was called Decoration Day. Families gathered flowers and kids and visited the graves of everyone in the family that was no longer with us. The adults trimmed grass and pulled weeds around the headstones. The kids placed their canning jars full of flowers they had picked earlier and then played among the tombstones and asked tons of questions about the various names inscribed there. Lots of family history was related and retold on those Decoration Days. Sometimes my mom and dad visited two or three cemeteries on that day.
In today’s world, somehow, Decoration Day has evolved into Memorial Day and is emphasized almost entirely as a day to pay tribute to those who died in our many wars. Of course, paying tribute to our war dead is important, but remembering everyone is more important.
Practices have changed over the last few years and a large percentage of deceased are cremated. There isn’t a special location to visit departed loved ones. But there are reminders all around us. That’s why it is more important then ever to make an effort to remember and relate stories in everyday life.
One way that helps is by acknowledging items that you possess and possibly use every day that belonged to a favorite family member. Every time I pick up my mom’s scissors I think of her. When I pull out a small pitcher of juice, a gift from Ken’s Aunt Elsie, I think of her. If I make Pralines at Christmas I silently thank friend Amy for the perfect pot she gave me. When I can’t get a stubborn jar open I use the rubber devise that Ken used to loosen parts on the car engine!
I have a friend who treasures a small table that belonged to her mother. It was saved when their household was swept away in a flood. It’s the only thing she has of her mothers; the mother she lost when she was eight years old. An old friend, an art instructor, gave me her Indian jewelry which I treasure, but most of all she gave me encouragement to solicit galleries and also self- publish prints.
Some gifts were other pieces of advice. When I used to complain about some cranky neighbor as a kid, I can hear my mother saying even today, “Be kind to old people. Their life is hard.” She also said, “It’s not nice to laugh at old people”.
My dad, of course, gave me many things, but one bit of advice was “never accept money for doing someone a favor.”
So, keep your family united by remembering loved ones!