How fatherhood has changed
By
Gerry Niskern

I’d like to share this story that has stayed in my memory for many, many years. I was about seven or eight years old at the time.

(John the hired man knocked on our door on a cold night, right after supper. He had a boy by the arm who looked about twelve or so. The boy had on a man’s old suit coat.

“I caught him hiking on the highway. Could you run him back to his folk’s in town?” John asked my dad.

“Sure,” my dad replied. “Put him in my car while we get our coats.” My sister and I said “hi” to no response, as we climbed into the back with the silent boy who sat rigid looking straight ahead. I was shocked to see a crust of bread lying on the car floor under his feet. Lena, John’s wife, must have given it to him, I thought.

I stole a glance at the boy. He had unshed tears in his eyes as my dad drove the five miles of steep winding road back down into town. “What’s your address, son?” my dad asked him a couple of times but received no reply.

Finally, as we reached the edge of town, he told dad where to turn. We stopped in front of a soot covered old house and dad took him to the front door. The porch lights came on and the door opened. A man spoke with my dad for a minute.

I got on my knees and watched out the rear car window as the boy, shoulders bent, shuffled slowly into the house as we drove away.)

I remember feeling sorry for the boy and asking why we had to take him back. My dad replied, “Because it’s against the law for kids to run away from home.”

Of course, no one knows why that boy wanted to get away from home back then. but we do know that times have changed. Parenting has changed. And the way fathers “ parent” in today’s society has changed most of all.

Father’s are no longer the traditional disciplinarian. Since dual income households has greatly increased, dads have nearly tripled the time spend with their children since the l960’s. If you were raised in the 50’s, you probably can’t help but compare the huge change in dad’s today. They spend more time talking to their kids, encouraging them, and really listening.

Some will always be better in the role of dad then others. I can’t help but think of the men in my family and how they differed. Some dad’s were there emotionally for the kids and some weren’t. Some were better teachers, of anything, than others. Some were good with babies and toddlers, but not so much with older off spring. Some taught with words,, others by example. If dad treated people with respect the kids learned respect. If dad was honest, the kids learned to be honest. Most fathers tend to follow the lead of their fathers, but with improvements too.

Those kids from the 50’s are watching their son’s become better dads than they were and their son’s will do the same.