“A Memorial Day for Everyone”

By

Gerry Niskern

What does Memorial Day mean to you? Nearly everyone thinks of it as a fun filled break from the work or school; perhaps a family get-together or a trip out of town.

Memorial Day has always been a day to remember; a time to think of the loved ones in the family who have passed on. It is only in recent years that the total emphasis was placed on honoring the war dead.

When I was a kid May 30^th was called Decoration Day. Our family had fun on that special day too, but first we started the day by decorating the graves of loved ones, including the soldiers in the family.

We kids pulled weeds while our parents clipped overgrown grass around the family plots. Then we placed jars of spring wildflowers picked earlier that morning, by the headstones.

After our work was finished, we walked with Mom among the headstones in the cemetery. She gave us a running commentary about grandparents, aunts and uncles who had passed on.  We learned who had been honest, hardworking, law abiding and who hadn’t. Her stories conveyed clearly who was respected and why.

Today the majority of children are not taken to memorial services of family members. It’s a bit ironic that most kids are allowed to play video games that include violence and death routinely yet are sheltered from real deaths.

Here’s an idea. Why not consider a family session on this Memorial Day to remember and honor the dead. Is there someone’s grave you need to visit? Take the kids with you. If you haven’t been here in the valley long and don’t have a place to visit, get out the family photo albums. Tell your kids what kind of a man Grandpa was. Was he in the service? Where did he work?  How did Grandma dress when she was dating? Did she have a profession? When she married, was it hard raising a family back then?   Be ready for a flood of questions and a valuable interlude spent with your child.

As you use your time to connect with the past and include death as part of the reality of life, you’ll be observing Memorial Day as it was always intended.

The fallen soldiers should be honored, of course, but let’s put the emphasis back on making it a Memorial Day for everyone.