“The Passing Parade”

By

Gerry Niskern

I confess. I’m a confirmed people watcher. When I was a kid, taking in the bustle of downtown Phoenix on Saturday night with my parents was cheap entertainment. Dad would say, “Let’s go downtown and Watch the Passing Parade.”

So now, of course, our large valley malls are good for more than shopping; they are great for watching that “Passing Parade”. While sitting in a food court one Saturday, I enjoyed the wonderful variety of people who walked by.  I was seated behind the clown lady dressed in bright polka dots and red and white stripped stockings. She was coyly tossing her red yarn tresses, laughing at the security guard’s banter. She wasn’t selling many balloons, but hey, the security guy was already sold. Children in strollers reached their hands in anticipation of a balloon, but those with grandparents were the ones who usually received one.

The teenagers were in the majority, strolling in groups of three or four.  There were lots of both slim and chubby bare midriffs over low rider jeans on the girls. The boys wore cargo pants and lots of extra long shorts with tee shirts.  If they sported baseball caps, about half were bill forward and half bill back. The guys had hair short on the sides and the girls had long locks hanging forward, on one side.

Occasionally the tinkling of bells drew my attention to some Asian teens passing by.  Both boys and girls wore loose, yellow satin pants with lots of red fringe and dozens of tiny bells sewn all over them.

I will admit I was taken back by the guy with the girl on a leash fastened to a collar. Later on, I saw a boy with a collar on being led by a girl. It kind of makes those friendship rings that our parents objected to seem pretty tame.

You could spot the snowbirds in their shorts and sleeveless shirts on this fall day. It’s amazing how different people perceive the weather. There were lots of spaghetti straps, but just as many long sleeves on others.

The couples pushing elaborate strollers were often carrying the baby; his ride was piled with purchases. If the baby was actually in the stroller, regardless of blankets, there was at least one bare foot sticking out.  Every team in the NBA, MLB and the NFL were thoroughly represented in the attire of the little boys.

I will confess the moms-to-be with the glaringly bare, expectant tummy, joining in the latest trend is a little hard to take. I want to offer them something to cover the poor, little offspring-to-be.

Blue jeans are indeed the universal uniform. Everyone, Senior girlfriends buying movie tickets, Native Americans with their hair in traditional knots in the back and even wheel chair shoppers were denim clad.

Every so often a youth sports team passed by. No precious time to waste changing after the game; gotta head straight to the mall. Kudos to the dad I saw with three girls from a soccer team. He opened his billfold and gave them their allowance. They all synchronized their watches and went their separate ways to shop, including dad. I think it probably cuts down on the temptations when they know he is somewhere in the mall shopping too. Maybe dad was just concerned about the guys with the dog collars.

When I left, the security guard was back, hitting on the balloon girl again. The least the guy could do was buy one of her balloons.