“To Move or Not to Move”

 

 

by

 

 

Gerry Niskern

 

 

 

 

It startles, even when you are expecting to see it. Graffiti. Large, bright symbols blaring across a pristine white fence.

A fence that for years embraced a yard full of kids; jumping into the pool, playing hide and seek, dribbling a basketball.

“Look at it,” our friend, the owner of the fence, demanded. “We’d like to paint over it, but our kids say, wait a while, otherwise they’ll just be back to mark their territory again.”

Of course, he should paint over it immediately, that’s a given. But that’s just the beginning. There are more repercussions, what I call the rippling effect.   Our harried friend said, “Our kids want us to move.  They’re worried something worse might happen.”

I’ve heard this statement many times over the past few years. Friends who bought their homes as newlyweds.  They expected to raise  their families in those modest, middle class homes and then live out their lives there.

They kept their yards neat and trimmed. Painting and repairs were done when necessary. They looked out for each others’ kids. Now they look out for each other, check if something seems amiss. The mail is brought in and trash cans put out when someone goes on vacation.

Then one day they see wrought iron bars being installed on windows down the street. Someone mentions a house has been robbed. Then another…more bars, security system signs go up and then….for sale signs.

That’s the easiest answer. Get out of there.

Their adult children, out of concern for their safety, of course, start telling them to move. “Go to one of those safe gated communities”  After a while, they  get tired of arguing and give in.

Others stay put.  The defiant. The brave.

“Courage has nothing to do with it,” one of my friends chuckled. “We can’t afford to move. Where would we go? One of those $4 or 5,000  a month retirement places. We can’t pay those fees! Our home is paid for. It’s finally fixed up the way we wanted it to be, and I’ll be darned if we’re leaving now!”

He and his wife are staying put. They’re just like my eighty-five year old friend who has recently purchased  a walker to help her get around her large yard and get her trimming done.

One fellow I know has been slowly acquiring wood working tools. He’s been looking forward to spending his retirement years building wooden porch swings to sell to supplement his social security income. Sorry, retirement apartments don’t come with spacious garages for aspiring entrepreneurs.

Another woman I know has a magnificent back yard garden on a huge wedge shaped back yard. After the kids no longer needed it for play, she spent the last twenty years creating a bountiful wonderland. She and her husband aren’t about to give it up….despite many  crimes in the surrounding area last year.

My hat goes off to them, and to another couple who live at the end of Central Avenue. Every evening, from their porch, they watch as the glow of sunset changes to darkness and a black onyx valley below fills with thousands of twinkling lights like precious stones spread out for their pleasure.

No one’s chasing them out of the area and believe it or not, their ancient neighborhood is gradually changing back from neglected rentals to charming, well kept  bungalows. The trend is reversing. Young couples who buy in the area are remodeling, painting and landscaping.

Kudos to the stalwarts who don’t give up. They are staying put in their homes they worked hard to buy and cared for so diligently. Now they are enjoying the mature trees, gardens, and friendships they   nurtured all those years.

Don’t leave it to them….they don’t deserve it!