“Therapy for Today’s Swingers”

By

Gerry Niskern

Guess what? The old-fashioned porch swing is back. According to many home living magazines, today’s young families, in their pursuit of the coziness and warmth of Grandma’s house, are buying porch swings. The young marrieds have realized the therapeutic benefits of relaxing by gently swinging back and forth after a hard day working.

There’s just one problem. They are installing them on their back patios. Wrong! Before this becomes a trend, I’d like to offer some advice. Porch swings don’t belong in the backyard. How can you watch the passing parade on your street? How can you catch up on the latest news when the evening strollers stop to chat for a minute?

Some of my fondest memories include playing on my Aunt’s front porch steps while the adults were swaying gently on the squeaky swing.  My Aunt Sarah did a continuous monologue on the personal news of each passerby. She used to comment, “See that fellow, he’s stepping out on his wife, or “I think there’s a new baby on the way for that couple coming down the sidewalk.” Back then, after a hard day of laundry, baking and canning inside the house, the front porch evening respite on the swing was her way of “surfing the net”.

Other summer evenings spent swaying in one of the three swings hanging from my grandpa’s grape arbor. I would climb onto an adult’s lap and watch the lacy pattern on pattern of leaf shadows on weary faces at sunset. The trio of clicking swings provided a soft background of rhythm for grandma’s narratives of the old country.

My husband and I had several swings over the years. We know the seat must be constructed to gently curve, sloping down towards the back. It should be hung so that when sitting in it the swinger’s toes just touch the floor. It must be long enough to hold three adults or as many little kids as can squeeze in. The chain should be strong enough to hold your chubbiest relative. You know the one; they back up to the swing and suddenly drop! Only the strongest chain can withstand the shock.

It must be hung so that it can be pushed back to the full extension of the chain. Nothing surpasses the giggles of delight of a one-year-old taking her first wild ride choreographed by big brother doing the pushing.

When I was a child, the safe cocoon of the swing was a haven for playing dolls, experimenting with nail polish or discovering the enchanting world of reading. Many have  rocked with their dates and exchanged a first kiss on a swing. The proposal of marriage has occurred on a porch swing. Somehow, it takes the stress out of the whole event.

Colicky grandbabies love to hear “Rock a Bye Baby” over and over again while gently swaying. . While moving to a faster rhythm, it’s a great place to teach kids the old songs like “She’ll be coming Round the Mountain” or “Where have you been, Billy Boy, Billy Boy?”

Later on, when they’re teenagers, the sanctuary of the swing in the anonymity of the evening darkness becomes an easy place to discuss personal problems. Almost anything can be resolved while watching the stars come out