“Sometimes it’s hard to understand”

By

Gerry Niskern

The talk radio station was spewing forth all kinds of opinions regarding the tragedy. You know the one; the baby that was accidentally left in a sweltering vehicle Some of the callers were indignant and furious. They just “couldn’t understand how any parent could be that neglectful.”

On the other hand, the majority of women callers were compassionate. Many said they could understand perfectly how something so awful could happen. Most named the number of children they had raised or were raising. They talked about how hard it is to be an alert mother when you are tired, or sick and possibly stressed out over a routine of home, job and childcare.  They weren’t condoning the mother’s forgetful actions, but they said they certainly could understand.

I thought of a good friend of mine, a conscientious  young mother of three.  She told me about nursing her newborn infant, then putting her down for a nap back in the nursery. Then she cleaned up the three and four year old, got in the car and drove to the grocery store. While she was there, it hit her; she’d left the baby at home!

I personally remember driving west on Thomas Road after a visit to the pediatrician with a three and five year old  and an infant. The whole family had the flu. Suddenly it dawned on me that I had just driven my car full of precious cargo through the red right by St. Joseph’s Hospital’s emergency entrance, nearly missing an ambulance. I still get cold chills when I think of what could have happened.

There have always been accidents involving infants and small children. Toddlers in Arizona have drowned in irrigation ditches, had accidents with animals and machinery. Parents  were exhausted, lost track and tragedies happened.

Interestingly enough, later on, when there were more cars on the road, kids were thrown from cars and killed because no one had invented seat belts or child safety seats.  How many of us narrowly escaped that potential tragedy? Now, we have mandatory laws about car seats. They must be placed in the back seat. Also, kids under thirty pounds or one year must ride backwards in order to cut down on possible injuries.

There is no doubt that this presents a unique problem. So far, this year nationally, 32 kids have died of hypothermia who were left in scorching vehicles. We have saved children from getting hurt in accidents, only to have them forgotten in the back seat.

One major opinion came blaring out of the car radio last week. “Throw her in prison; that’s the best deterrent to keep it from happening again.” Unfortunately, nothing has stopped these sad deaths from occurring.

Others have started some constructive thinking about inventing some creative devices to alert the parent that a child is still in the car. An alarm that would sound or some device attached to both you and the infant. It has even been suggested that the parents  leave their wallet, cell phone or purse in the back seat to function as a reminder. Last year, 82 % of kids hot car deaths were unintentional . It is a terrible and difficult decision for a county prosecutor to charge a parent in this type of case. At this point, we can only trust the law enforcement investigators to determine case by case what is gross negligence and what is one memory lapse.

And what can we do? Try a little understanding.