“Who will teach Mom and Dad?”

By

Gerry Niskern

Have you heard the old saying, “Home is where the heart is”?  Well, I have another one for you. “Home is where civility begins”.

As you make your way through the day at work, school or play here in the valley, don’t you sometimes wonder where all the manners have gone?

Good manners are not just a discussion of which fork to use at the table. Although good manners help people glide more gracefully through life, I’m referring to the rudeness that is rampant.  The need for civility is everywhere.

For example, do you ever get a “thank you” wave when you stop to let a car into traffic? How often do other drivers pull over and wait for funeral processions to pass as traditions suggest? At the airport, do you constantly dodge large bags swinging from someone’s shoulders? Actually I believe they are the same fellows who sling their carry-ons out into the aisle to stop everyone from deplaning, while they retrieve their bag from the overhead.

Okay, now to the kids!  What ever happened to having dinner out with mom and dad being a treat?  Have you ever sat near a large table of parents and kids; kids who were allowed to get up and run wherever they pleased, that is? Pity the poor waiter who has to balance large trays and hope that they don’t stumble over a speeding munchkin and send the scalding food flying.

Or perhaps you’ve been treated to the screeching of little hands on balloons while you dine. Of course, that’s preferable to the jolting bang when the balloon finally bursts.

My favorite is the screamer. The toddler who is allowed to yell at the dinner table at home because it’s cute is suddenly embarrassing to mom and dad when he exercises his vocal chords when having dinner out. Sorry, folks, it is too late then to try to shush him. Manners begin at home.

According to an article in The Arizona Republic by Mark Schwed, of the Palm Beach Post, it’s never too early to teach proper behavior and it’s never been more timely.  Recent studies show that teachers spend 40 percent of their time on discipline that could be curbed greatly if the kids were just taught a few rules of common courtesy early on at home.

Parents can give their children music lessons, French lessons, and sports coaching, but if they don’t have the basic idea of how to act civilly, they will not do well in life.

The problem is, more and more people live for them selves and do not feel morally accountable to anyone for their actions. They resent being limited the freedom to be themselves.

Everyone agrees that civility is the glue that holds our society together. Showing respect for our fellow citizens does not take fancy words or gestures. We all know that when your children or grandchildren see you practice consideration, they will mimic your actions.

Perhaps some social rules are too old-fashioned for today’s society; but I still cringe when I hear some one say, in public, “get your butt over here” as I heard a store manager say to a clerk the other day. Sometimes it is hard to curb the use of foul language in aggravating situations, but it is worth the effort to try.

When you teach your child civility, you are teaching life skills.

Now who is going to train the mommas and the poppas