Halloween

“Halloween”

We all know the Grinch stole Christmas, but I’d like to know who made off with Halloween. I’m talking about the Halloween that used to be just for kids. The age-old holiday when your kids dressed up like witches or monsters and visited the neighbor’s houses chanting, “Trick or treat, trick or treat, give us something good to eat.”

Before then, when I was a kid, Halloween parties were planned weeks in advance. That gave everyone time to create the best disguise so you could have the thrill of being the last one guessed at the party.

One year, when I was about eight years old, my sister and I begged to have a Halloween party for our friends from the neighboring farms. We worked hard sprucing up the basement. We dragged dry corn stalks in from the fields and placed them in the corners. Grinning jack-o-lanterns and black cats made from construction paper weeks in advance greeted our guests.

In my quest to be the last one identified, I’d insisted my mother pin me securely into my ghost sheet costume, so no one could peek.  I watched in dismay, arms locked in folds of white, as the bowls of candy corn, platters of doughnuts and the sweet cider disappeared before my eyes!

Years later, I couldn’t wait to take my first child trick or treating. My two-year old had a pair of blue silk Chinese pajamas and I made her a little coolie hat. We practiced “trick or treat” until she could say it perfectly. At the first home and at every door after that, she held out her paper bag and gave the poor occupants the dirtiest look she could muster, while refusing to utter a word. She came home with quite a little sack full of loot anyway.

That same year, her daddy came home with large size candy bars. “I can finally afford to give out the kind of loot I would have liked as a kid,” he declared.

There was just one problem. While I was out with our mute China Doll, he stayed home with baby brother. We both forgot to take down the “Shoo-baby sleeping” sign from the front door. Nary a goblin knocked on our front door

Mom’s Handlebar Mustache

“MY MOM’S HANDLEBAR MUSTACHE”

First, do you know what you call a goblin that gets to close to the bonfire?

It was Halloween and the Ladies Aid Society was having a masquerade party in the basement of our little country church. Of course no one could afford to go out and buy costumes back then. You just scrounged around the closets for something that would work

Hard to believe that now around 1.5 billion will be spent on adult costumes this year; actually more than is spent on kid’s Halloween costumes, around 1.3 billion.

Anyway, Mom put together a gypsy outfit with a red skirt, some beads and baubles and a bandana around her head. I thought she looked pretty sharp and would surely win the contest of being the last one guessed. But wait, she had no mask. “That’s okay” she said, “I’ll just wear this old mask” she declared, picking up a beat up false-face from the bottom of a trunk.

“No, mom” I declared. “You can’t wear that. It has a mustache! You need a ladies mask.” After all, this little hobo was going with her and in my six-year-old logic that just wouldn’t do at all. I wanted us to win. The rumor that had circulated around the Sunday school classes the week before was that the first prize was going to be a bag of candy corn! Of course, for a little farm girl that sounded like heaven to me.

But my mother wasn’t about to spend money on a new mask and off we went to the party. Needless to say, I was embarrassed and humiliated. I was afraid they would laugh at my mom.

Then as the evening wore on different people were recognized in their disguises and their names were called out, but no one had recognized her. Everyone was puzzled. As they milled around her I heard one party goer say, “ Is that a man dressed like a woman? Can’t be a female. None of the ladies would wear a mustache.”

But then everyone’s identity had been guessed but us and guess what? We won!

I remember riding home in the back seat, clutching that bag of candy corn and thinking, maybe my mom was pretty smart after all!

By the way, a goblin that gets too close to the bonfire is a toasty-ghosty.

About Gerry Niskern

I spent my early childhood in Moundsville, W.Va, but grew up on Phoenix and attended Phoenix Union High School. After raising a family I had a rewarding career in the art business. I later become a freelance writer and my articles appeared in Chicken Soup books, Anthologies, and magazines. I wrote a bi-monthly opinion column for the Arizona Republic for 22 years and intend to use this blog to continue writing regularly on subjects concerning, yesterday, today and tomorrow.