“Boomers Legacy”

By

Gerry Niskern

Last year the first baby boomers reached age 60. That’s 85 million in the United States and Canada.

Through their childhood and as they came of age, most of the leading edge boomers experienced good times.

Never before has such a large group of consumers been so heavily analyzed by market researchers and courted by retailers. For example, they have single handedly caused the standard apparel sizes in the fashion industry to change. To encourage them to keep right on buying even when they weren’t a size 10 or 12 anymore the industry just changed their sizing. And men’s blue jeans went from tight to relaxed fit overnight.

But now let me suggest a word of caution to all you boomers out there that will affect you directly, sooner than you think.

While you were busy building careers, businesses and raising a family, there has been a change in attitude in our country towards older people. The trend started in the last couple of decades in television and movies. Script writers and producers decided it was hilarious to show oldsters as the butt of many jokes. Mothers in sit-coms, over the age of fifty, are routinely depicted as sex starved maniacs. And older men fare even worse. If attending a movie with a child now days, notice how kids today automatically laugh at the appearance of any white haired person on the screen.

You boomers could easily turn this trend around. A large percentage of today’s kids don’t see the elderly as real people. They only know the stereotypes they have been conditioned to laugh at in entertainment.

Although some children in today’s society are lucky enough to know their grandparents as individuals; most kids never learn about the senior’s careers or life experiences. I suggest that you  take the time to share stories and photos with younger members of your extended family about your own parents. If possible, ask them to share experiences with the younger ;members of the family about their life’s work.

Here’s another suggestion. Your kids and grandkids always learn by your example. Do they see you communicating with older people on a person to person basis, or talking down to them as if to a child? Do they hear you complaining about the white haired driver doing the speed limit, but never about the other speeders?

The sense of stability and security has always been grounded in respect for families and the elders. In these times of a mobile society, you can be assured  that if you lay the ground work, future generations will have a different attitude towards anyone growing older.

Then when you boomers progress from middle age into the pace-makers years, and trust me, you will, you won’t be automatically assigned the “geezer” roles created by the script doctors!

“Coffee Time Parade”

By

Gerry Niskern

There’s a place in our city that provides the ultimate passing parade for addicted people watchers. On any day you might see beautiful young women dressed in the latest swishy dresses or no nonsense suits in five-inch backless heels hurrying to grab a latte on their way to the office. Right after them come tired looking men and women, in surgical blues, looking for a cup of strong regular.

While exhausted tennis players enjoy an iced coffee, the morning walkers are ready for iced tea as the overhead fans and refreshing misters keep the 110-degree temperatures bearable.

You’ll see dogs of all breed and sizes in their daily drama of one-upmanship. Some of the large, docile pets would be perfectly happy to play with the smaller canines. However, the mighty midgets feel duty bound to challenge any larger mutt.  Then again, that eternal feud is mild compared to all their mutual hatred for the mailman. The thirsty guy in the unlucky “uniform” is challenged with a chorus of indignant barking.

There’s a few tables shoved together for group meetings. Sometimes it’s the retired crowd trying to make sense of today’s politics.  Or the group is the city detectives having an early breakfast. Then again, it might be a PTA committee planning the next year’s fundraiser.

The “Stay at Home” moms seem to get out a little more these days. The mom’s shrieks of laughter blends with their toddlers giggles as the kids chase, but never catch, the pigeons milling about.

As the morning goes on, a Dial- a- Ride bus pulls up. The side door opens, the hoist comes down and a stalwart little lady clutching tightly to her walker is slowly lowered to the ground. She makes a plucky effort often to attend the “passing parade.”

Pretty apron clad young women from the nearby hair salon chatter as they hurry by between appointments. They’re anxious to grab a designer coffee, but stop to greet regular customers seated at tables they pass.

Two fellows in business suits carry their steaming coffee and plates of gooey, pecan rolls search for an empty table. No doubt they are fugitives from the cholesterol police. I suspect the wives at home thought the heart healthy oatmeal that they prepared for breakfast would hold them until their sworn salad lunch.

A group of nannies from the nearby neighborhood sit at a table surrounded by a circle of designer strollers. Each one containing one or two precious charges thoroughly enjoying their day out too.

My favorite is the kid on the skate board who zooms right up to the entrance, tripping the automatic door opener, jumps off and catches the board as he strides through, all in one spectacular motion.

Where can you watch that unique passing parade? Why, at your favorite morning coffee place.  Note: Cast subject to change without notice.

“Blast from the Past”

By

Gerry Niskern

Have you ever known a winter this cold in the Valley of the Sun?

Well, sure you’re laughing if you come from Colorado or Minnesota or parts East. Those of us who grew up here are finding it hard to take. Okay, I admit it, we’re a bunch of sissies.

If you grew up in the land of ice and snow, you probably had to wear those hated snowsuits as a kid. You knew they kept you warm because you mother said so.  Do you remember lining up so the poor teacher could help everyone get into their snow pants, boots and get all zipped up nicely before heading outside?

How many of you women as a little girl,  had one of those wool knitted caps that peaked at the top and tied under the chin, with balls on the ends? Do you remember building snowmen; sledding and making ice cream treats with snow, vanilla and sugar? And of course, worst of all, how it feels to get hit hard, right in the mouth with a speeding snowball during a fight.

Don’t even try to find a space heater this year. Everyone’s sold out. The heating and cooling companies are having a bonanza. When those heat pumps work overtime during a stretch of below freezing weather they ice up from overload. Ice forms and the only solution is to turn them completely off for a few hours. The incredulous response to that advice from repairmen is “You’ve got to be kidding!”

When my family moved to Phoenix when I was a kid, we thought we left the cold weather behind. Back then, however, without the Internet, information was not as readily available. My mother gave away all her wool blankets and quilts. She was told that the family wouldn’t need them in sunny Phoenix. Our home like most here had a screen-sleeping porch on the rear. They were set up for the hot months to catch a cool breeze. The porches had canvas flaps that could be let down for winter protection. Mom had to scramble to borrow warm blankets for the first cold night here.

We Phoenicians are used to turning our furnaces off at night. Kids are sent off to school with a light sweater, which they manage to shed or lose by 10 A. M. People are more likely to take a jacket with them here in the summer for the air conditioning at the movies.

After all, Phoenix is the city where the pre-schools truck in a load of snow from up north so the kids can experience the fun of building a snowman. They get to see what snow feels and tastes like and hopefully, not from a well placed snowball to the teeth.

In the meantime, this year our residents have had to scramble to find old towels and sheets to cover frost sensitive plants at night. We had to dig out our heavy coats if we can find them, and gloves for the morning commute.

Don’t be embarrassed if you’re all bundled up like the Abominable Snowman when you pass smug joggers in their skimpy shorts and tiny tee tops. Just remind yourself to wait until they’ve lived here a few years and their blood has thinned out too.

I actually bought a pair of earmuffs for my early morning walk. I love them. What I really want to know is where are those “dreaded ” snow pants when you really need them?

“Everyone can make an Ethical Will in 2015”

By

Gerry Niskern

I wrote about Ethical Wills once before, years ago. I believe the idea bears repeating for new generations of readers in this New Year. An Ethical Will is an opportunity for you to communicate your hopes and dreams for the future generations of your family. Your morals, regrets and yes, your opinions are all included.  They are usually written by people at a turning point in their lives.

An Ethical will  is not a legal document; rather it is a record of your nonrepresentational wealth. Although parents would like to see their children financially secure, they would also like to leave some philosophical provisions as well.

Think of the many phrases stated by your parents or grandparents that influenced you while growing up. One of my mother’s favorites comes to mind. “Be kind and respectful to the elderly, their life is hard.” When I would argue, “But, Mom, what if they’re crabby with me?” She always replied, “That doesn’t matter. We still respect the old.”

Then there was one of my grandmother’s admonishments, in her broken English. “Don’t go where you no belong.” Her advice still serves a purpose in our family. These examples are not exactly an ethical will, but certainly examples of the making of one.

Writing an Ethical Will does not require enormous education or wisdom. It’s what you have to give of yourself.  Every will is as unique as the person writing it, but there are common themes. Personal values are important, as well as “life’s lessons learned.” Families are mentioned often. “Take care of the family. Value the family.”  Many give instructions on how to maintain the strength of the family.

If you need help getting started, start keeping a journal. Over a period of time themes will emerge that you can use in drafting your ethical will.

.          Many newlyweds sit down and share their values in ethical wills. It doesn’t matter if you are an engaged couple, brand new parents, divorcing, empty nesters, or end of lifers, there is no time like the present. Not everyone can pass along a financial legacy, but everybody can transmit some of the richness of life. You have lived and learned and have thoughts to pass on. Just be yourself. Open your heart and write