Who’s Surprised Now?

By

Gerry Niskern

Have you started your Christmas shopping? Do you have some foolproof hiding places? You better have stashed the early purchases in a good spot.

My sister and I always enjoyed our dad telling about the toy he received that was already worn out. It seems there had never been any money for Christmas gifts in his family of eight children. When his older sister went to work she was determined things would be different for her two youngest brothers. She bought two little toy motorcycles, wrapped them in red paper and hid them under her bed. Our dad and his brother spied them  while she was at work. They couldn’t resist. They pulled back the red paper to peek at the contents. Then they really couldn’t contain themselves. Each little boy had a motorcycle that you could wind up and it would run all over. They played with the cycles and then wrapped them up again and put them back under the bed. The next day, the temptation was too great. The boys sneaked into her room and played with the wonderful new toys again,  and every day thereafter, until Christmas.   Their excited sister gave them their gifts on Christmas morning, and as they unwrapped them, parts of the worn out little motorcycles fell out of the paper!

Our own children loved to hear their daddy tell about one December when he discovered  a brand new basketball in his parent’s  attic. He spent the next Saturday before Christmas along with a couple of his friends, building a backboard on their carport. They worked all day in the rain, but it was going to be worth it. That night, while his family was seated at the dinner table, a neighbor lady came over to retrieve her Christmas purchases, including the basketball, from their attic. She thanked his mom for hiding them for her!

A friend of mine told me about how her mother always stashed the kids  Christmas toys in a cubbyhole behind their bookcase. Her mother was surprised when she didn’t’ want to go along on the Saturday grocery shopping trip; especially since she was always given a nickel to buy big red balloon. My friend had other plans that day. As soon as her parents left she pulled the bookcase out and looked to see what was hidden there.  Inside a long box was the Betsey Wetsey doll she had longed for.  The temptation was too great. That little baby doll had to be given a bottle immediately.  In fact, she was fed every Saturday up until the day her mother pulled the soaking wet box out, intending to wrap it for Christmas. Betsey couldn’t hold it that long!

One of my fondest memories is of the first Christmas we were married. I had shopped carefully for a sharp McGregor jacket for my groom. Then one day, right before Christmas, he came home with a large box, carried it into the bedroom and closed the door. The house resounded with sounds of clanging and banging as he wrapped his gift for me. All I could think was, ‘those sounds could only be a vacuum cleaner”.  How could he, and on our first Christmas?  What did he think I was, a housewife?

Talk about surprises!  On Christmas morning I unwrapped a Featherweight Singer sewing machine. I loved it

Instant Genealogy

By

Gerry Niskern

It’s that time of the year again; the holidays. Families will be criss crossing the country, going back home.

The truth is, there is something everyone will look forward to more than Grandma’s cooking.  That’s the sharing of family stories.

I recall as a toddler, standing around my Austrian grandma’s kitchen and listening to her chuckles and chatter with cousins visiting from Europe. They were having a good time reminiscing.  I couldn’t understand a word they were saying, except for my grandma’s one and only  English phrase,  “Damn right!”

Years later, I was a teenager when relatives visited my parents out here in Arizona. My first reaction was, “I don’t have time for these people. I don’t really know them anyway.” But before I knew it, I was hanging around the dining room table late into the evening laughing at the stories being recalled. I was amazed to learn that my very proper daddy had burned down the family garage when he was four years old…and he couldn’t tell his mother what he’d done because he still couldn’t talk.  After all, my aunt explained, “he was the baby of our family and he didn’t have to talk.”

Years later, after my husband’s parents were gone,  some cousins stopped at our house to visit. Our kids learned a thing or two about their dad’s childhood.  They couldn’t believe that when their daddy was about five years old he was allowed to go badger hunting with his older cousins and their pack of greyhounds in west Texas. According to the story, “he was talked into sitting on top of one badger hole and another little cousin was told to sit on another hole. That strategy was supposed to slow the badger down when it came out, and the older boys could shoot it. There was one problem. The badger just about scratched the gullible five year old to pieces trying to get away.”

Our nephews, who were always being lectured by their dad about the dangers of smoking, loved the story about their daddy caught sitting behind a chair puffing on his uncle’s cigar every chance he got, when he was only two years old

As the years go by, everyone, if we’re lucky, will have more and more of these family interludes in our life.  All these stories affirm that we are indeed a family connected and the laughter is the catalyst that holds the clan together. The kids take it all in and come to realize that when they were growing up, mom and dad weren’t perfect, in fact, even a little naughty sometimes. That’s good for everyone. It kind of levels the playing field a little, doesn’t it?

Instant Genealogy

By

Gerry Niskern

It’s that time of the year again; the holidays. Families will be criss crossing the country, going back home.

The truth is, there is something everyone will look forward to more than Grandma’s cooking.  That’s the sharing of family stories.

I recall as a toddler, standing around my Austrian grandma’s kitchen and listening to her chuckles and chatter with cousins visiting from Europe. They were having a good time reminiscing.  I couldn’t understand a word they were saying, except for my grandma’s one and only  English phrase,  “Damn right!”

Years later, I was a teenager when relatives visited my parents out here in Arizona. My first reaction was, “I don’t have time for these people. I don’t really know them anyway.” But before I knew it, I was hanging around the dining room table late into the evening laughing at the stories being recalled. I was amazed to learn that my very proper daddy had burned down the family garage when he was four years old…and he couldn’t tell his mother what he’d done because he still couldn’t talk.  After all, my aunt explained, “he was the baby of our family and he didn’t have to talk.”

Years later, after my husband’s parents were gone,  some cousins stopped at our house to visit. Our kids learned a thing or two about their dad’s childhood.  They couldn’t believe that when their daddy was about five years old he was allowed to go badger hunting with his older cousins and their pack of greyhounds in west Texas. According to the story, “he was talked into sitting on top of one badger hole and another little cousin was told to sit on another hole. That strategy was supposed to slow the badger down when it came out, and the older boys could shoot it. There was one problem. The badger just about scratched the gullible five year old to pieces trying to get away.”

Our nephews, who were always being lectured by their dad about the dangers of smoking, loved the story about their daddy caught sitting behind a chair puffing on his uncle’s cigar every chance he got, when he was only two years old

As the years go by, everyone, if we’re lucky, will have more and more of these family interludes in our life.  All these stories affirm that we are indeed a family connected and the laughter is the catalyst that holds the clan together. The kids take it all in and come to realize that when they were growing up, mom and dad weren’t perfect, in fact, even a little naughty sometimes. That’s good for everyone. It kind of levels the playing field a little, doesn’t it?

“Is Santa Becoming Obsolete?”

Cyberspace Christmas is here. Santa’s days are numbered. I hope the old boy has a good retirement plan and given his rotund image, adequate health insurance. Now a kid can go to some of the toy stores here in the valley and put his name on the children’s registry.

The child is given an electronic scanner and allowed to go through the store and scan any toy that strikes his fancy. Each item is then on a list that can be accessed on the Internet under the child’s name. What if grandma doesn’t have a computer to go online.  Too Bad. The poor lady will just have to wait in line at the toy store to get a printout of his list.

Gone are the days where the little tyke had to sit on the old boy’s lap and ask for a special toy. No more embarrassment of posing for pictures. Those tiring trips to the mall are over. There will be no excuses of “Santa didn’t know or he couldn’t find it” accepted either. I can hear it now. “After all, I was registered.” Soon we’ll cut out the chubby middleman entirely.

The Internet is transforming society and shaping the future. I don’t know when Christmas changed from being a  “hands on” celebration with a few little gifts for the kids, but we’re rapidly cruising down the information highway pointing and clicking our way through the transition.  According to the profusion of ads for web sites we see everywhere, you can do Christmas entirely on the Net. Order your tree from a choice of sites around the United States. UPS will drop your tree on your doorstep within two days.

You can have a personal shopper help you choose the perfect gift for everyone. The on-line “E-tailors” are becoming quite nosey. Just give the shopper your loved ones sex, vital statistics, and tastes. With a click of the little rodent, the gift is on its way to you. If you want absolutely no part in this messy Christmas business, the perfect gift can be gift wrapped and sent directly on to the recipient.

Am I the only one who sees something wrong with this picture?  Is there anyone that doesn’t remember the luscious smell of the pine as your family tramped through the Christmas tree lot? When you all agreed on the perfect evergreen, Dad tied it on top the car and if it wasn’t perfect when you arrived home, you just turned the bad spot towards the wall.

Christmas is a great opportunity to introduce the little kids to the special glow of giving. After they empty their piggy banks they can carefully choose a gift for each member of the family.  I’ll admit, the lesson was lost on our middle son who only asked one question when contemplating his purchases; “Okay, but how much change do I get back?”

Do you remember the thrill of coming upon the perfect gift for that special someone?  A unique gift you found while browsing and enjoying the decorations, luscious smells and holiday music.

I’ll be the first to acknowledge computers are a productive tool in our fast paced world at work and in everyday life.  Working mothers especially need and welcome the convenience of online shopping.

Speaking of rules, I have a suggestion. Lets ban all web sites that target children young enough to still believe in Santa Claus. Around age eight or nine is soon enough for him to go scanning at the toy store.

On second thought, don’t interrupt him now. He’s probably on-line with his broker checking his Merrill Lynch account!.

“Is Santa Becoming Obsolete?”

Cyberspace Christmas is here. Santa’s days are numbered. I hope the old boy has a good retirement plan and given his rotund image, adequate health insurance. Now a kid can go to some of the toy stores here in the valley and put his name on the children’s registry.

The child is given an electronic scanner and allowed to go through the store and scan any toy that strikes his fancy. Each item is then on a list that can be accessed on the Internet under the child’s name. What if grandma doesn’t have a computer to go online.  Too Bad. The poor lady will just have to wait in line at the toy store to get a printout of his list.

Gone are the days where the little tyke had to sit on the old boy’s lap and ask for a special toy. No more embarrassment of posing for pictures. Those tiring trips to the mall are over. There will be no excuses of “Santa didn’t know or he couldn’t find it” accepted either. I can hear it now. “After all, I was registered.” Soon we’ll cut out the chubby middleman entirely.

The Internet is transforming society and shaping the future. I don’t know when Christmas changed from being a  “hands on” celebration with a few little gifts for the kids, but we’re rapidly cruising down the information highway pointing and clicking our way through the transition.  According to the profusion of ads for web sites we see everywhere, you can do Christmas entirely on the Net. Order your tree from a choice of sites around the United States. UPS will drop your tree on your doorstep within two days.

You can have a personal shopper help you choose the perfect gift for everyone. The on-line “E-tailors” are becoming quite nosey. Just give the shopper your loved ones sex, vital statistics, and tastes. With a click of the little rodent, the gift is on its way to you. If you want absolutely no part in this messy Christmas business, the perfect gift can be gift wrapped and sent directly on to the recipient.

Am I the only one who sees something wrong with this picture?  Is there anyone that doesn’t remember the luscious smell of the pine as your family tramped through the Christmas tree lot? When you all agreed on the perfect evergreen, Dad tied it on top the car and if it wasn’t perfect when you arrived home, you just turned the bad spot towards the wall.

Christmas is a great opportunity to introduce the little kids to the special glow of giving. After they empty their piggy banks they can carefully choose a gift for each member of the family.  I’ll admit, the lesson was lost on our middle son who only asked one question when contemplating his purchases; “Okay, but how much change do I get back?”

Do you remember the thrill of coming upon the perfect gift for that special someone?  A unique gift you found while browsing and enjoying the decorations, luscious smells and holiday music.

I’ll be the first to acknowledge computers are a productive tool in our fast paced world at work and in everyday life.  Working mothers especially need and welcome the convenience of online shopping.

Speaking of rules, I have a suggestion. Lets ban all web sites that target children young enough to still believe in Santa Claus. Around age eight or nine is soon enough for him to go scanning at the toy store.

On second thought, don’t interrupt him now. He’s probably on-line with his broker checking his Merrill Lynch account!.

“Is Santa Becoming Obsolete?”

Cyberspace Christmas is here. Santa’s days are numbered. I hope the old boy has a good retirement plan and given his rotund image, adequate health insurance. Now a kid can go to some of the toy stores here in the valley and put his name on the children’s registry.

The child is given an electronic scanner and allowed to go through the store and scan any toy that strikes his fancy. Each item is then on a list that can be accessed on the Internet under the child’s name. What if grandma doesn’t have a computer to go online.  Too Bad. The poor lady will just have to wait in line at the toy store to get a printout of his list.

Gone are the days where the little tyke had to sit on the old boy’s lap and ask for a special toy. No more embarrassment of posing for pictures. Those tiring trips to the mall are over. There will be no excuses of “Santa didn’t know or he couldn’t find it” accepted either. I can hear it now. “After all, I was registered.” Soon we’ll cut out the chubby middleman entirely.

The Internet is transforming society and shaping the future. I don’t know when Christmas changed from being a  “hands on” celebration with a few little gifts for the kids, but we’re rapidly cruising down the information highway pointing and clicking our way through the transition.  According to the profusion of ads for web sites we see everywhere, you can do Christmas entirely on the Net. Order your tree from a choice of sites around the United States. UPS will drop your tree on your doorstep within two days.

You can have a personal shopper help you choose the perfect gift for everyone. The on-line “E-tailors” are becoming quite nosey. Just give the shopper your loved ones sex, vital statistics, and tastes. With a click of the little rodent, the gift is on its way to you. If you want absolutely no part in this messy Christmas business, the perfect gift can be gift wrapped and sent directly on to the recipient.

Am I the only one who sees something wrong with this picture?  Is there anyone that doesn’t remember the luscious smell of the pine as your family tramped through the Christmas tree lot? When you all agreed on the perfect evergreen, Dad tied it on top the car and if it wasn’t perfect when you arrived home, you just turned the bad spot towards the wall.

Christmas is a great opportunity to introduce the little kids to the special glow of giving. After they empty their piggy banks they can carefully choose a gift for each member of the family.  I’ll admit, the lesson was lost on our middle son who only asked one question when contemplating his purchases; “Okay, but how much change do I get back?”

Do you remember the thrill of coming upon the perfect gift for that special someone?  A unique gift you found while browsing and enjoying the decorations, luscious smells and holiday music.

I’ll be the first to acknowledge computers are a productive tool in our fast paced world at work and in everyday life.  Working mothers especially need and welcome the convenience of online shopping.

Speaking of rules, I have a suggestion. Lets ban all web sites that target children young enough to still believe in Santa Claus. Around age eight or nine is soon enough for him to go scanning at the toy store.

On second thought, don’t interrupt him now. He’s probably on-line with his broker checking his Merrill Lynch account!.

“Thanksgiving Day, Here in Arizona”

by

Gerry Niskern

Thanksgiving day, here in Arizona, is a day of traditions. It will be celebrated in many locations and the rituals will be as varied as the individual families.

Grandmothers and grandfathers will serve their children and grandchildren a fine old- fashioned turkey dinner, complete with dressing, gravy and homemade hot rolls that melt in your mouth. The carving knife is already sharpened and the table lines freshly laundered.

Some traditions, here in Arizona, will be started for the first time when the newlyweds decide to invite the clan to their home for barbecued turkey on the grill and a dip in their heated pool. No matter where they gather, some members of the family will argue politics, religion, and the latest courtroom trial. Everyone will over eat and some will drink too much.

Others will go to church to thank God for their many blessings. Whole families will give up their day to serve others in the many charity dining rooms, here in Arizona.

Native Americans on their reservations will gather together for mutton stew and fry bread. New immigrant families, like the one I saw shopping for a heavy roasting pan at the Goodwill store in my neighborhood, will buy their turkey and trimmings and try to prepare it the American way!

Other families will gather in hospital rooms or visit cemeteries, carrying pots of golden mums and try to remember why they are supposed to be thankful on this day.

Here in Arizona, people tired of formal affairs, will wrap their turkey up tightly, and put the potatoes, dressing and gravy in large thermoses and head out for a desert picnic. They will fly kites, ride go-carts and go rock hunting.

Lonely residents of nursing homes will be served their turkey on long tables decorated with papier-mache  turkeys and jaunty little pilgrim hats. They’ll be remembering other past Thanksgivings when children sat at their table.

Firefighters will cook their bird at the station. Policemen will grab a quick bite while on patrol. Emergency room personnel will eat their drumstick in the hospital cafeteria. Babies will be born and Mom and Dad will forget to eat, here in Arizona.

Some Mothers and Fathers will read to their children about the first Thanksgiving. They’ll tell them about the Pilgrim’s Thanksgiving when Governor  Bradford invited Chief Massosit to share their feast. The chief brought ninety men with him and they stayed for three days. The pilgrims celebrated their freedom in their new country with the Indians who helped them survive their first winter.

Maybe these same parents will ask their offspring to name the things they are thankful for. Then, hopefully, they’ll remind their families that there are Moms, Dads, kids, and even Grandparents who are hungry and homeless in Europe on this Thanksgiving day.

Today’s parents will tell the kids that we have the freedom to celebrate our traditions or change them, as we wish. They’ll remind them to nurture and cherish that freedom.

All these things will happen on Thanksgiving day, somewhere here in Arizona.