“Have you made your New Year’s Resolutions?”

By

Gerry Niskern

January has always been the month for resolutions. But now it seems the tradition of New Year’s resolutions have gone out of style. Everyone is too busy or too cool to do a little personal assessment of where improvements might be in order. People used to make a resolution to lose twenty pounds in the coming year. Or perhaps they vowed to join a gym, spend more time volunteering, buckle down at work or improve their manners. Oops! How did that one get in there?

I guess because we all have someone we would like to hear make a resolution to improve their manners. Hey, maybe their mama really didn’t teach them. But now, someone has to. A simple gesture like holding the door for someone to a simple thank you from the person entering would be a good start.

When I first started writing columns on social commentary for the Arizona Republic, the advice was, “be careful not to lecture!” I’ve always followed that mantra, but today I’m going to ignore that rule and suggest some New Year’s resolutions for the following:

R.S.V.P CLOWNS: Always give the hostess a definite answer. None of this, ‘maybe’ business is acceptable. If you want to wait for a better offer, then take your chances. Come on. Have you ever planned food and drink for a party? Resolve to answer promptly when invited to a gathering. Don’t assume if you don’t call, they will know you are not coming. And, if you would like to bring a guest, ask first.

DIET BOMBSHELLS: If you have a dietary requirement, please mention it when responding. If you are in the new “gluten free” crowd, offer to bring your own dish. And please don’t wait until the main course before announcing, ‘Oh, I can’t eat that!’ Also, do not pointedly pick items out of your plate. Quietly push them to the side.

CELL PHONE “RUDIES”

If you have to take a call at a meal, excuse yourself and step away. Otherwise, keep the cell phone in your pocket. Basic rules for cell phone manners hasn’t been totally established, but we’re getting there!

BIRTHDAY PARTY POOPERS: Adults have plenty of problems with rude guests that don’t respond to an invitation, but please, don’t do this to little kids. Everyone remembers how important birthday’s are. I keep hearing from mother’s who send out invitations to all or most of the birthday kid’s class and never hear a word in response. It’s frustrating for the hostess, but heart breaking to the child involved.

Try these for good resolutions for the coming year; or maybe just a little civility!

What was your favorite Christmas present?

By

Gerry Niskern

Can you think of the favorite Christmas present that you received in your whole lifetime?

Of course, all of Santa’s surprises were wonderful when you were a kid. I remember rushing down on Christmas morning and finding toys under the tree. Nothing was wrapped. They were just there, right where Santa dropped them!

Then as I got older I became more aware of the true spirit of giving gifts to loved ones at Christmas. In my teens I couldn’t wait  to exchange gifts with my girl/boy friends. Then it happened. That special boy gave me a small beautifully wrapped package. Inside was heart shaped locket made of gold and embellished with rose gold. It opened, and inside on either side was a space for two tiny photos.

Years later, at Christmas, my new groom, the Locket Guy, brought a large box home. He shut the bedroom door and tried to quietly wrap the contents of the box. When I heard something clanging and banging on the hardwood floor, I immediately thought, “If he bought me a vacuum cleaner, like some HOUSEWIFE, I’ll kill him!”

On Christmas morning, when  I opened his gift to me I  found a tiny FeatherWeight sewing machine. I loved it.

Other totally surprising and thoughtful gifts come to mind. : a beautiful silver coffee/tea set for my ladies group meetings, a luxurious Aqua blue gown and robe that he let the kids pick out on their own, Best of all, right after baby number three was born he brought home the latest kitchen item, a portable dishwasher. This tired young mother felt like she had a maid!

Years later, when they first came out, he surprised me with a microwave. I was not happy! I had read too many stories by all the skeptics that they were dangerous and could cause all kinds of health problems. Now, think about it.  What would we do without our Microwaves?

Finally, he settled into the tradition of a generous gift card from Barnes and Noble that warmed the heart of this “Book Worm” wife.

So, what was your favorite Christmas gift that you ever received? If I had to choose, I know that I will always treasure the gold heart locket with our tiny  photos inside, but I think  the portable dishwasher wins, hands down!

“Hide Kids, The Cameras Are Coming!”

By

Gerry Niskern

Let’s all take a vow this holiday season. Repeat after me. “I solemnly swear I will stop and enjoy more of the magical interludes with family and friends. I will not try to record every detail for posterity on film, but will simply enjoy the moment and hold it in my heart.”

Do you remember when family gatherings during the holidays used to be warm, happy times? Everyone relaxed, shared a meal and caught up on the latest news of the clan. Children developed their social skills through games and conversations with their aunts, uncles and cousins.

Now days I have a feeling the little ones love that moment when they hear the words, “my batteries just ran out!”

The video conspirators are everywhere. It’s not always noticeable when one is pointed in your direction. They not only document the last ten pounds you gained, they’re recording every word you utter. The remark that  ‘Aunt Millie needs to lose a few pounds’ is not funny when played back loud and clear for the whole world to hear.

Actually, this all started a few years ago. I’m sure you remember seeing the stooped, sweating daddy carrying a hundred-pound video camera on his shoulder. He trudged along behind his young family faithfully recording the activities of mom and kids having fun on their vacation. Too bad the daddy didn’t just   put the video camera down and enjoyed the special times with the kids while it was happening.

To tell the truth, if you go back a little further, a lot of us are guilty. Remember the little brownie movie cameras?  On Christmas morning, while the toddlers ripped open their presents, the contented baby was smiling in mother’s arms. However, if daddy, the official cameraman, decided it wasn’t light enough inside the house, he switched  on the light bar that held not one, but two 500 watt floodlights. The baby became rigid in the blinding glare and his cooing became screams of agony. Come to think of it, lucky for us there was no sound recording on those cameras.

I’m probably being too hard on the family photographers. Besides, they are not the really hard-core bad guys at Christmas time. That title goes to the lady elves at the mall.

Ever since the malls have had Santa’s there have been the elves with  cameras. I realize they are only doing what the parents pay them to do, take a good picture of their child with Santa. The current definition of good photo seems to require that Santa and the children who are sitting on his lap face forward and mouth a phony “cheesy” smile.  If they don’t get the required grin, a parent and the elves will persist until they do.

I wish, just once, that all parents would let the toddler climb on Santa’s lap and then, just stand back and wait. I guarantee you, the look of awe and wonder on their child’s face, as he looks up at Santa, will be incredible. Children want the fantasy; they waited a long time for this magical moment. Trust me that is the picture you want.

You will have that one in a million photo and your child will have his moment with Santa uninterrupted as he tells the big guy his “wish” list.

“Christmas 2017”

By

Gerry Niskern

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Soon the scent of fresh pine trees will join the aroma of cookies baking and simmering fudge.

In recent years something more has been added to the menu as families and friends gather at the holidays to celebrate our blessings.  The new item around the table is political rhetoric.  There is always someone at social gatherings that cannot stay off politics. Tongues dripping with venom, they refer to “liberals” or “conservatives”, depending on their take on current events. They’re fond of attaching labels on anyone who has a different opinion. The problem is, they usually only know one side, their side. In many cases, whatever political parties their daddy or granddaddy belonged to, that’s their party.

There’s a time and a place for political debates, but it is not family gatherings.

We need to  guard against letting political persuasions cause riffs between cousins, grandfathers and grandsons, and any family member from another. There is one fact we all need to consider. We just had an election year that was bruising. And as we look towards Christmas we are free to observe our special day any way we choose. I think we all agree we also want our children to remember the happy holiday times.   Friends and family are the glue that holds our country together. The holiday traditions of many ethnic groups are the fiber and backbone of our nation.

We all know that there are many talking heads on radio and television that are only concerned about their own agenda.  What will they care, now that the election is over, that old friends and family members are no longer speaking?

There is a lot of discussion about civility these days. Each political party thinks the other should be more civil. Actually, with understanding, comes civility. And to understand, you must be informed; informed on all sides of every issue.

Isn’t it great that in this country we are free to read the paper, not just your favorite, but any world paper?  We are amazed at the different take on world situations, depending on the city or country.  Online editions are available.  We’re free to subscribe to a weekly newsmagazine that presents both sides of issues.

Do yourself a favor. Don’t make the mistake of getting your opinion from one source. Learn to really listen to other opinions. Listening is a sign of respect. Listen for information, not ammunition to fling at friends.

Every American needs a worldview because we live in an integrated world. How often have you heard someone remark, “I didn’t really know the layout of the Middle East until the war in Iraq?”  It’s true that we don’t study geography extensively in our schools, but it’s not too late. If you have children or grandchildren, help them to open their eyes to the other countries and religions of our world. Lead by example. Read with them the origins of the Arabic and Jewish race, along with other ethnic groups. Discuss the differences and similarities. Encourage them to form their own opinions.

Citizens of other countries know all about our freedoms and about our holidays too. They know that we can choose, you, me,  and everyone across this country to gather family and friends and observe the day.   They know that people have died for our unity and free speech.

But, what exactly needs said? Plenty. Can it wait till after a holiday? You bet. What do you say? Shall we all get together on Christmas and not talk politics?

Works for me.

“Splatters of Christmases Past”

By

Gerry Niskern

The rustling sound you hear in our country this time of year is people trading family Christmas recipes. Americans move from house to house and even state to state more than anywhere in the world. No one realizes that more than we do here in Arizona. We have a virtual cornucopia of recent arrivals of every race and nationality. Guess what? They’re all busy sharing Christmas favorites.

I know most smart homemakers have their recipes entered on their PCs. I know I should do the same. There are so many splatters of “Christmases Past” on my recipe cards; I can hardly read them. However, the smears and smudges don’t hide the images I remember of the original cook who shared them with me.

When I was a young bride the lady who lived behind us gave me a recipe for divinity. She showed me the tried and true way of testing candy until it “spun a thread”. She was from New York by way of the copper mining town of Bagdad, Arizona. While my young groom worked long overtime hours that first Christmas, I experimented with candy from all the women’s magazines. Texas Pralines became and still are our family’s favorite. Made with buttermilk, pecans and white sugar, these unique confections melt in your mouth. Our little red brick house in the shadow of the State Capitol was filled with the aroma of candy cooking.

My Mother’s fondant recipe brings a wealth of memories. I was with her the evening Mrs. Iron showed her how to make it. She poured the clear hot liquid onto a platter and then we helped beat it until it turned white and creamy. In West Virginia she folded chopped black walnuts into the fondant and formed it into a long log and sliced it into rounds.

All the relatives used to gather on our little farm on a Sunday in the fall to harvest those black walnuts. We had brown stained hands for a week from the green husks. No amount of Lava soap could get rid of it.

After we moved to Arizona, Mom complained to a neighbor  about having no black walnuts to use in her fondant. This Missouri transplant showed her how to stuff the fondant into dates that could be purchased from a local date farm. She further instructed, “Then top it with a pecan half. You can buy those from one of the pecan groves out west of town.”

One of our early Phoenix friends from Colorado supplied the recipe for date bars. Cut into squares while warm and rolled in powdered they were Ken’s favorite. Every December he would come home with his arms full of date packages.  An old schoolmate who’s family was in the date business, used to pull his pickup along side  my husbands and start tossing packages of dates to him while they cruised along the highway.

A girl friend of mine moved to Kentucky after she was married. She returned with the instructions for “out of this world” peanut brittle. After you stir in the soda and pour, you stretch the mixture with buttered spoons…thinner and thinner, thin as glass. It’s wonderfully tender, if you work fast enough.

Recently I mentioned to a friend that I wished I could remember the name of a type of blond fudge my Mother used to make. She said, “Oh sure, Penuche”. We made that back home in Indiana when I was young.” She gave me the recipe.

It’s not easy to move to another part of the country. It takes time to settle in and feel at home, especially on the first Christmas. Food helps. New friends with different accents from various regions of the United States, indeed the world, are always surprised by the similarities of their favor holiday treats.

I’ll wager, at this very moment, somewhere in our nation two recently transplanted cooks are exchanging Christmas recipes.