As told to me

By

Gerry Niskern

During the time that we were remodeling our house, he always wanted to know exactly how each section was done.When he was five he demanded that his Grandpa tell him exactly what electricity looked like. He alwaysarrived with a book in hand and brought a carry on full of books when invited him on a trip to the beach.

Therefore, I wasn’t surprised when great-grandson # 1 wanted to tell me about an opportunity and moving experience. He is finishing up his third year of medical school and doing his Ob/Gyn rotation.

“ It was an unplanned delivery. The Mom had eclampsia which means her blood pressure was dangerously high. They rushed her over to the hospital from her office visit. She was almost full term so it wasn’t too early.

Doctor let me do more this time than he did the last C-section. I helped tear the abdominal muscles apart so we had access to the uterus. Once we had the amniotic sac in view he let me break the water. The sac was like a giant malleable water balloon and the membrane was soft and jellylike. It broke very easily. Probably could have just done it by pinching it. It was very memorable because when you break it warm slippery fluid gushes forth and covers everything including my hands. We wear big water proof booties for protection that go up to the knees.

The most surreal part is that the mom is awake during the whole thing…just chatting away with the anesthesiologist at the head of the table while we’re rooting around in her abdomen. Jammed down on her upper abdomen to help push the baby out.

Doc quickly handed it to me once he had it out, and jokingly said to me. “Don’t drop the baby!” I took it over to the baby station while it cried. I was very careful. The baby just felt warm. Not slippery or wiggly. It just felt alive!

Spent the next hour sewing all the layers back up. Everything went well and everyone is healthy. At the end the Mom was doped up on drugs while we cleaned her up. She told me I’ll be a good doctor. Haha.”

I think she’s right.

What do you think?

By

Gerry Niskern

House bill 2158, sponsored by Rep. Shawnna Bolick, a Phoenix Republican, would exempt food intended for home consumption from being taxed by municipalities. Supporters of the bill argue that food is a necessity and should not be taxed. “Food is needed for survival”.

When I read about this new bill I thought immediately of the scenario that played out every two or three days when I was a kid. (Some of you may recall this story). My mother always gave me dime to run to the Bayless grocery store, across from the State Capitol, to get a loaf of  bread. I dreaded those trips.

“But mom,” I’d argue, “It is eleven cents. There is a penny tax. And the lady cashier gets real mad when I don’t have the penny for tax.” Mom would just say,” You just go right on over there and when she says it’s eleven cents tell her your mother didn’t give you the penny. Don’t those people know that it is a sin to tax the daily bread?”

That red headed cashier and I went thru the same stand off each time I went for a loaf of bread. She always finally relented and let me buy the bread after I was thoroughly humiliated. I’m sure I was developing a good moral character and strong fortitude, but I didn’t appreciate it at the time.

The new bill will affect small towns mostly because they need the tax on food for their tax base planning. Arizona’s three largest cities Phoenix, Tucson and Mesa don’t tax food. It was eliminated in the l980s.

House Bill 2158 has not been heard in committee yet, but I’m with you Rep. Shawnna Bolick. “It’s a sin to tax our daily bread.”

What do you think?

Did Your Grandma wear an Apron?

By

Gerry Niskern

I recently read a great history of aprons by John Scanlon.

It started me thinking about all the things my Grandma used her apron for when I was a kid.

I don’t remember ever seeing her without an apron that had a bib and and reached to her shoes. She limped from an injury during the birth of her thirteenth child. Maybe to also  cover her gait as she walked?

She made her aprons from feed sacks. In those days, chicken feed came in really large sack of colorful calico prints. Her apron came in handy to gently carry eggs in from the coop and apples in from the orchard. She used as a pot holder when pulling her wonderful loaves of bread from the oven, every day. That’s right, every day! She wrapped it around her arms when she stepped outside for a minute on a cold winter day too.

But the most important feature of Grandma’s apron was the deep pocket on the right side. On payday at the mine she was always seated on a stool by the back door. When Grandpa and my uncles living at home came home from the coal mine they were expected to drop  their pay which was cash into her pocket.

My mother wore an apron only occasionally. She’d put one on over a good dress, but it usually only tied at the waist. She was an active woman who would have been hampered by an apron most of the time. When she and my dad started their Cooler Supply Company in later years, and she was running the small manufacturing section and waiting on customers, her apron days were over.

I’ve had two really special “stand out” aprons in my lifetime. Once, when we had finished redecorating our home in all white, carpet, furniture and walls with turquoise, mauve and black accent pillows and paintings, I received a beautiful apron. My good friend, my first art instructor, arrived on the day of our annual Christmas party with that apron she had sewn for me to match the jewel tones in our home.

The other precious apron made especially for me by my mother was to wear when I was first studying painting. Some watercolors when accidently flicked onto white jeans (which I wore a lot back then) absolutely would not come out. She surprised me with a bib apron that provided great coverage from shoulders to the top of my shoes. And it had a large pocket in the front, just like Grandma’s. Great for brushes!

“Let me call you Tweetheart”

By

Gerry Niskern

There are red hearts and Cupids everywhere you go. The stores are bursting with chocolates in heart shaped boxes, teddy bears with red bows, and tons of jewelry.  I remember receiving a gold heart locket on Valentine’s Day years ago. I still wear it with the photos of two sweethearts inside.

It’s even easier today for a young man to select a Valentine for his love. He can go online and order any type of Valentine he wants. Doesn’t even have to leave the house. Actually, maybe that’s the problem.

I can’t tell you who is buying the Valentines this year, but I can tell you who isn’t.  The Millennials And Gen. Z too!  That crowd is having none of it. According to statistics a large percentage of their age span has opted out of the entire commitment idea. Dinner and a movie are out and “non-dates” are in.

When a guy wants to see a girl he texts her with a tender message such as, “What’s up” or “Want to join me and some of my friends at the local hangout?” What girl wouldn’t want to hear a romantic invitation like that?

The days of courtship where you actually picked up the phone and asked someone for a date are over. That required an investment of considerable thought, planning, and investment of ego. Today’s convenience of texting, tweeting and e-mail did away with the need for even a little charm.

Guys don’t waste time on long expensive first dates. Dinner at a romantic new restaurant? Scratch that. The woman is lucky to get a tweet to meet up somewhere. The long “get acquainted” first date is no longer necessary. He already knows all about her from Facebook and Google.

The “Hook-up” champion of the campus has carried his habits into his supposedly adult life. Now he’s afraid a formal request for a date will send the wrong message. It might say he’s getting too serious, way too soon. And if he did want to buy some jewelry on Valentines Day for the woman he’s been “meeting up” with for weeks, the Millennium man is hesitant to make the purchase. It’s his lose

Back when Cupid was alive and going strong, my number one son was in first grade He saved his pennies for a long time in order to buy a tiny Valentines box of Whitmans with two chocolates inside for the little red-haired girl in his class. Now that kid wasn’t afraid of commitment!