It Takes  a Child

By

Gerry Niskern

The little brown eyed girl was giving hugs all around. There was laughter and tears of joy as the toddler met grandmas, cousins, uncles and aunts for the first time. I don’t know how much she understood or would remember, but she knew something important was happening as her daddy stood back beaming and was busy giving hugs of his own to family members that he hadn’t seen forever.

My great-great-granddaughter was as Paloma Park last Sunday with her daddy for a spontaneous reunion of two different families. Due to legal issues it was only the second time they had been together and he wanted the families to meet his daughter. This self-confident, vivacious little girl donned her pink unicorn bathing suit and led her new found cousins to the splash-pad where they had a ball running in and out of the sparkling water.

A strong wind came up and she ran to me for a towel hug and then back to the splashing water several times. It wasn’t much, but at least I got to help her and hug her again. Soon her grand mother helped her into dry clothes and off she went leading the gang of cousins to the playground.

Reunions, even spontaneous ones like this one are important for everyone. The adults exchange family history and information. And the kids need to spend quality time with relatives. They need to hear the family stories. The contact helps them develop and mature.

A strong wind and cold rain drove me to the car and I didn’t get to say goodbye, but I’m grateful that I got to see everyone, especially the child that brought us all together.

Are You Looking Forward or Backward?

By

Gerry  Niskern

I was talking with my #2 son the other day and as usual our conversation turned to the Pandemic, the state of our polarized country and other sobering  subjects. Then he said, “Hey Mom, lets talk about something looking forward, you know, some happy things.”

Sounded like a good idea to me and it reminded me of an article I had read in the New York Times recently about a course offered at Yale University called Psyc 157: Psychology and the Good Life. It is one of the most popular courses in the University’s 320 year history.

The course then evolved into  a course called The Science of Well-Being. It asks the students to keep track of their sleep, start keeping a Gratitude journal and to frequently perform random acts of kindness.

One of the rituals that most people missed during  the Pandemic was the act of giving hospitality; an act of kindness and also  the feeling of being needed. The joy of entertaining friends and just meeting to talk and maybe even vent a little.

All of this was very similar to my Mother’s recipe for living life. “You should be grateful!” was a phrase I heard many, many times while growing up. Also, “Be kind, especially to old people” was another. And if someone gives you a gift, when you are finished with it, you “do not sell it”. Always pass it on to another person who can use it.

The happiness course at Yale teaches that gratitude doesn’t come naturally. I find that hard to accept, but sadly I know that it is true. Perhaps if the many thousands who have taken the course (it was offered online eventually) begin to teach gratitude and kindness to their children, they will grow up to help create a happier world.