“HAVE YOU BOUGHT YOUR CANDY YET?”

By

Gerry Niskern

Why don’t skeletons go trick or treating?

Times getting  short. Only a few more days until the witches, princesses or monsters come shouting at your door. “Trick or Treat, Trick or treat!”. You better be ready.

Years ago, in our first new home, I kept reminding my husband to pick up  some candy. Halloween was coming. Of course, I didn’t have to remind him because, for days, he had heard our two-year old practicing her new words. “Trick or Treat”. She had it down pat.She was going as a Chinese girl.  She had a pair of blue silk Chinese pajamas and I had fashioned her a coolie hat.

When the big day arrived, Daddy came home with boxes of regular sized candy bars. Boxes of them! “I’m giving out the kind of loot that I would have liked when  was a kid!” he declared.

He stayed home with baby brother and Miss Hong Kong and I took off. There was just one problem. At the first home and every one thereafter, she stonily held  out her bag and gave the poor neighbors the dirtiest look  she could muster, refusing to say a word. She came home with quite a little sack full anyway.

We came home to find out that her daddy had not given out a single candy bar. Nary a Goblin had knocked on our front door. “I would hear kids coming and then they would sort of fade away.” He said. We finally decided to check  the front door. We had both forgotten to take down the “Shhhh…baby sleeping” sign that I had put out that afternoon.

So get out and get that candy and be sure to check your front door!

By the way, the reason Skeletons don’t go Trick or Treating is they don’t have any body to go with!

Halloween, let’s give it back!

By

Gerry Niskern

Halloween used to be just for kids.  I’m talking about the age-old holiday when the  kids dressed up like witches or monsters and visited the neighbor’s houses shouting, “Trick or Treat”.

Planning began weeks in advance, giving everyone time to think up the best character. That way they could always change their mind several times, driving their mother crazy, especially the ones who were sewing the costumes.

Make no mistake about it. This is one holiday the kids own. On October 31, when it starts to get dark and they have eaten the required bite of dinner, it’s trick-or-treat time. Beautiful Princesses and heroic Batmen hit the door running, with mom or dad trotting to keep up with the charge down the street.

Actually, I’m a little more concerned each year. According to the costume rental businesses, the demand for adult disguises is through the roof. Restaurants and caterers brag that their orders for adult Halloween parties are increasing rapidly. That’s all fine and dandy, but remember this special night belongs to the munchkins.

Halloween night, dating back to when it officially started around A. D. 830 when Pope Gregory IV proclaimed November 1 All Saints’ Day, also known as Allhallows, has by tradition been a kids night for fun.

The school may have an official parade through the other grades to show off costumes, but that does not a Halloween make! Yes, it has gotten a lot more dangerous in recent years. Sure we all have to be more diligent about where we take the munchkins in their quest for goodies. Also, older brothers and sisters have to be given strict guidelines for their adventures.

Don’t pass up the wonderful chance that helps the little ones develop their creativity and imagination too. Those childhood years pass too quickly, eight or ten at the most. When they put on those costumes and are transformed into Spiderman or Barbie, make no mistake about it, they really become Spiderman and Barbie and deserve an evening of  “let’s pretend.”

So how about it, before the adults take over the holiday, let’s give Halloween back to the kids?

When Cousins Collide!

Some of you might remember the post that I wrote about meeting my great-great-grandaughter for the first time about a year ago. At that time I mentioned her unique approach to everything. I got to see her again last Sunday and she was more innovative and fun than ever. She doesn’t like to wear pant and shirts anymore, only ballerina dresses. When she is being dressed in the morning she keeps getting out a dress, hoping to replace the play clothes. When one isn’t accepted, she keeps bringing out another and another, thinking one will be okay. This little blond haired, brown eyed fashionista is persistent. If it sounds like I’m bragging….I am. I’m a great-great, those are the rules!

She just turned two a couple of months ago and is sporting quite a vocabulary. “Hi Grandma” she called as I walked in her grandmother’s house. Most of her talking was reserved for her younger cousin, Oliver. There was a reason for this, you see. ,

Iris plays with the babies at the Day Care she attends, but because cousin Oliver was a preemie and is small for his 18 months, she calls him baby and doesn’t realize he is his own man. He had brought all of his video games and she was staking a claim to them . I haven’t had so much fun in a long time; watching the crying battles that ensued. When she would try to take one that he was playing with she found it wasn’t that easy. You see, Oliver uses a wheelchair and has very strong little arms. So when she pulled a game a way, he didn’t let it go. “Done now”, he yelled and she kept saying “no, no baby”, but couldn’t pry his strong little hands loose.

After the battle of the videos, she decided to push him around in his wheelchair. Her ballerina skirt billowed out like a parachute as they made their own NASCAR track, that is, until they hit one wall and then another. He was laughing out loud as they crashed. He didn’t know girl cousins could be such fun. She kept patting him on the head and saying “I love you little baby

When Oliver was put down to crawl, she crawled all over the house with him. But when he crawled over and picked up a video game, the armistice was over!

“Coffee Time Parade” Chapter two

By

Gerry Niskern

As I sit and arrive people arriving at the best coffee gathering place in the valley, I never cease to wonder at the variety.  On any day I might see beautiful young women dressed in the latest swishy dresses or no nonsense suits in five-inch backless heels hurrying to grab a latte on their way to the office. Of course, I  have to laugh at the gals in the “spray-on jeans” and their high boots. Never mind that it’s still close to 100 some days!

Right after them come tired looking men and women, in surgical scrubs, looking for a cup of strong regular.

While exhausted tennis players arrive to enjoy an iced coffee, the morning walkers are ready for iced tea as the refreshing misters keep the 100-degree temperatures bearable.

You’ll see dogs of all breed and sizes in their daily drama of one-upmanship. Some of the large, docile pets would be perfectly happy to play with the smaller canines. However, the mighty midgets feel duty bound to challenge any larger mutt.  Then again, that eternal feud is mild compared to all their mutual hatred for the mailman. The thirsty guy in the unlucky “uniform” is challenged with a chorus of indignant barking.

On Wednesdays there is a few tables shoved together for group meetings. Sometimes it’s the retired crowd trying to make sense of today’s politics.  Or the group is the city detectives having an early breakfast. Then again, it might be a PTA committee planning the next year’s fundraiser.

The “Stay at Home” moms don’t stay home much these days. The mom’s shrieks of laughter blends with their toddlers giggles as the kids chase, but never catch, the pigeons looking for a stray crumb.

Pretty apron clad young women from the nearby hair salon chatter as they hurry by between appointments. They’re anxious to grab a designer coffee, but stop to greet regular customers seated at tables they pass.

Two fellows in business suits carry their steaming coffee and plates of gooey, pecan rolls search for an empty table. No doubt they are fugitives from the cholesterol police. I suspect the wives at home thought the heart healthy oatmeal that they prepared for breakfast would hold them until their “ sworn salad lunch.”

The kids on the skate boards always zoo right up to the entrance, tripping the automatic door opener, jumps off and catch the board as theystride through, all in one spectacular motion.

The other day when I came out to reclaim my table, an Asian family were seated nearby. The mother jumped up to hand me my book and apologize profusely. Her toddler had knocked it on the ground. The baby stood there with bowed head and when his mother was finished explaining, he looked up at me with the sweetest smile I  have ever seen and offered me his slice of pizza. I just wanted to take him home!

Where can you watch that unique passing parade? Why, at your favorite morning coffee place.  Note: Cast subject to change without notice.

“YOU’RE KIDDING ME?”

By

Gerry Niskern

I’ll admit it. You had me at Huggies. Coming from a decade where we washed our babies cloth diapers, I was constantly amazed at new products coming out every year to make new parents life easier.

First there was fitted diapers. Then came Huggies and after that the Diaper Genie. I was constantly surprised at how easy the new mothers had it. Around then, a Baby Monitor to keep track of the baby at all times, and now the Baby Shusher. Imagine that! A little device to turn on that creates a “kind of white noise” to encourage the infant to sleep a little longer.

Of course, all the different formulas and bottles were great, but later, the genius Sippy Cup. No More spills to clean up. And when the kid is ready for a stroller, now they are  the size of a Volkswagon. There is a place for everything: Mom’s purse, jacket, her drink, the baby’s diapers, bottles, changes of clothes, snacks, toys, and even a brother or sister. (I had a metal stroller that doubled as a baby walker when the foot platform was removed and the handle popped off.) Can’t tell you the price, it was a hand me down.

Next came all kinds of potty chairs designed just for the toddler boy or girl. All shapes and sizes and just as many books and advice from friends on “how to get the point across to the little tyke”. However, there really wasn’t a new innovative product to get the job done easily.

But wait, there is! MY POTTY WATCH! All you have to do is put the watch on the wrist of the tot.  Then you  explain that when it rings a happy tune, he/she should run and sit on the potty! As the instructions explain, “This will eliminate the problem of the child getting irritated at his mother nagging  him”. I’LL WAIT FOR YOU  TO INSERT YOUR OWN COMMENTS  HERE

Imagine, as the kid get older, no more nagging from mom to get up for school, take out the trash, “do your homework”. I can see that watch coming in handy over the years. That is, if it survives its flush down the toilet by the proud owner!

OME MEMORIES THAT KEN SHARED WITH ME OF HIS YEARS AS A PAPERBOY.

A Salute to earlier, young Laborers

Do you know the person who delivers your news every morning? I don’t.  Paperboys used to be a kid from your neighborhood. Ken, my husband,  remembered carrying the Republic and Gazette in the early 1940’s.

“Our station was located in front of a Chinese grocery store West of the State Capitol. When it rained, someone dragged the bundles into the doorway so they wouldn’t get wet.  We took turns folding our papers in the shelter. There were no plastic sleeves; we put our jackets over our canvas paper bags. We figured we could pedal fast enough to go between the raindrops.”

“On Sundays, after our regular route, we picked up papers from to R & G building, to deliver skipped customer for a chance to earn extra money. They gave us each ten extra papers. We rode over to Five Points intersection and sold them for 25 cents each. It added up.”

“ I recall one mischievous kid who lived in my neighborhood. In the mornings, he waited until he was a couple blocks from home so that his mother wouldn’t know and then turned on his bicycle siren. It was mounted on the frame and a spring held it against the tire. You could hear him all the way down to his station at Seventeenth Avenue and Buckeye Road. One morning a sheriff requested that he remove it.”

.

“I carried around 250 Republic papers in the morning and over 200 Gazettes in the afternoon. We collected every month and every customer knew us by name. I don’t remember how much we were paid per paper, but I made around $120 a month, not bad for a kid in the sixth grade. For any kid who wanted to work and wasn’t afraid to get up at 5 A. M. it was a great job because it didn’t interfere with school. I was able to maintain good grades and even trade up every time a new model Schwinn came out.”

“Those fine old homes around the State Capitol had big porches and the customers insisted their papers be porched. We didn’t realize it probably sounded like a thunderclap at 5 A. M. when it hit as we pedaled by.” ”

“The boys took their job seriously,” he concluded. “There was a great rivalry among the guys about who could go the longest without getting any “kicks” (complaints.) If one of the guys was really late, we would hide half his papers. It was a good incentive to get to the station on time.”

“If you were sick it was your responsibility to find your sub. No parents were out delivering your papers in their cars. It was easier to just drag yourself out of bed and do the route.”

I knew Ken was serious about his job. We were in the eighth grade when I took my first ride on the cross bar of that Schwinn, on our way to a Girl Scout dance.  We started to fall and just before we hit, the bike swooped upright again. I commented on how strong he was and he replied, “Shoot, you’re about as heavy as the Sunday papers!”

Remember when we were all uncool?

By

Gerry Niskern

Do you remember when if someone in the family bought a new car, they took it around to show all the relatives? It didn’t have to be new either!

And remember when a young couple bought a house they moved in and enjoyed it. It didn’t have to be renovated with new bathrooms and top of the line kitchen. Friends dropped in anytime. and it was actually considered the polite thing to do to show them the whole house.

Do you remember when you went on vacation and absolutely had to send everyone back home postcards! You started writing them as soon as you got there. And the games you played in the evening were true board games that the whole family enjoyed together, no batteries required.

Remember when Dad came home with a couple of new jokes every night. How long has it been since you have heard anyone sitting around telling jokes; back before everyone got their solitary dose of daily humor on their favorite social media site?

“hand me downs” were actually looked forward to. If you saw an older cousin sporting a new dress/shirt, you knew you were going to have it next year. I remember playing a game with my two year old as I dressed him every day. He would ask me, “who give me this?” and I  would tell him the name of the cousin. He loved it and was always shocked when I would answer,”it’s yours!”

Remember when you were little and you were excited to be going to see your Grandma. Not because of a present you might be receiving or someplace your grandma might be taking you, but because, well, just because it was your grandma!

And do you remember when your best girl was happy to get a box of chocolates from the corner drugstore?

Just wondering if you remember when everyone was “uncool”!

“Sometimes it’s hard to understand”

By

Gerry Niskern

The talk radio station was spewing forth all kinds of opinions regarding the tragedy. You know the one; the baby that was accidentally left in a sweltering vehicle Some of the callers were indignant and furious. They just “couldn’t understand how any parent could be that neglectful.”

On the other hand, the majority of women callers were compassionate. Many said they could understand perfectly how something so awful could happen. Most named the number of children they had raised or were raising. They talked about how hard it is to be an alert mother when you are tired, or sick and possibly stressed out over a routine of home, job and childcare.  They weren’t condoning the mother’s forgetful actions, but they said they certainly could understand.

I thought of a good friend of mine, a conscientious  young mother of three.  She told me about nursing her newborn infant, then putting her down for a nap back in the nursery. Then she cleaned up the three and four year old, got in the car and drove to the grocery store. While she was there, it hit her; she’d left the baby at home!

I personally remember driving west on Thomas Road after a visit to the pediatrician with a three and five year old  and an infant. The whole family had the flu. Suddenly it dawned on me that I had just driven my car full of precious cargo through the red right by St. Joseph’s Hospital’s emergency entrance, nearly missing an ambulance. I still get cold chills when I think of what could have happened.

There have always been accidents involving infants and small children. Toddlers in Arizona have drowned in irrigation ditches, had accidents with animals and machinery. Parents  were exhausted, lost track and tragedies happened.

Interestingly enough, later on, when there were more cars on the road, kids were thrown from cars and killed because no one had invented seat belts or child safety seats.  How many of us narrowly escaped that potential tragedy? Now, we have mandatory laws about car seats. They must be placed in the back seat. Also, kids under thirty pounds or one year must ride backwards in order to cut down on possible injuries.

There is no doubt that this presents a unique problem. So far, this year nationally, 32 kids have died of hypothermia who were left in scorching vehicles. We have saved children from getting hurt in accidents, only to have them forgotten in the back seat.

One major opinion came blaring out of the car radio last week. “Throw her in prison; that’s the best deterrent to keep it from happening again.” Unfortunately, nothing has stopped these sad deaths from occurring.

Others have started some constructive thinking about inventing some creative devices to alert the parent that a child is still in the car. An alarm that would sound or some device attached to both you and the infant. It has even been suggested that the parents  leave their wallet, cell phone or purse in the back seat to function as a reminder. Last year, 82 % of kids hot car deaths were unintentional . It is a terrible and difficult decision for a county prosecutor to charge a parent in this type of case. At this point, we can only trust the law enforcement investigators to determine case by case what is gross negligence and what is one memory lapse.

And what can we do? Try a little understanding.

“Patriotic Privileges”

By

Gerry Niskern

They came in cut-offs and tank tops, baggy shorts and super size tees. They had ponytails, short hair and shaved heads; and that was just the adults.

The teenagers were easier to spot. They had that “I just turned sixteen today; give me my driver’s license” look. Their confidence was not shared by the designated parent trailing behind. Panic would best describe their expression.

The Fourth of July week has just concluded.  We were all treated to patriotic speakers enumerating the liberties and opportunities afforded us as citizens of this country. That’s exactly what I, along with other residents here in the valley, was doing last week, taking advantage of the privilege of carrying an Arizona drivers license.

The office of the Arizona State Motor Vehicle division was very busy. An elderly gentleman, in bell-bottom dress pants with white shoes and a wide white belt was waiting in the front row.  He was having a ball telling the arriving teens,” Sorry, there are no more licenses left, I just got the last one!”

The first line was the eye test and to get an application for a driver’s license renewal.  I soon became aware of the diversity of people at the facility. The Japanese lady standing next to me had an interpreter to help her fill out her application. The sweaty hat lying on the counter next to me belonged to an Hispanic man. It was obvious by the bits of grass clinging to his pants and shoes that he’d already been to work

I turned in my form and opted to have a new picture taken. After receiving a number I was told to wait to be called. It’s a good thing the lady’s calm voice calling out D036…D037…was very soothing since the numerous babies who had brought their parents for tests, had their own agendas. They were, in turn, screaming, laughing, talking and nursing. The rest were throwing toys, crackers and Tippee cups. One two-year-old cutie was eluding his mother by running under the ropes and through the lines of people. A few were actually sleeping.

One snoozing infant, sucking on his Binky, was handed off to Dad when his very nervous mother was called for her road test.  The examiner, an MVD employee, was wearing shorts and a big sports shirt. Silly me, I expected to see an uniformed officer. I was told later that that was the first thing the employees were taught, how to conduct road tests.

A senior on my left was holding her new license. I asked her how long the wait had been? “Oh, not long at all. We all came together on our bus and they took us right away. See those women in the motorized chairs over there. They’re in my group. I brought my cane.”

“Did you have to take the road test?” “Oh, no. I moved here a month ago.  I had just renewed my license in my home state.”

“When does your license expire?” I inquired. “In 2007”

“Did you get your first license at age sixteen?” She laughed, “Oh, yes. And now I’m 82.”

When I was on my way out the door I passed the nervous mom. She had failed her road test. She was choking back tears and asking” But, how will I get to work?”

The driver of the retirement resort bus braked for a sixteen-year-old chauffeuring his mom home in the family sedan as the soothing voice droned on…… D078……D079……

a native?

By

Gerry Niskern

A guest columnist for the Arizona Republic recently asked the question, “Are you a native?” He goes on to say that a native isn’t necessarily someone born in Arizona, but rather it’s what you have experienced here that makes you a native.

The “What if…?” questions that he posed were describing “late comers” as far as I was concerned. So I decided to ask a few qualifiers of my own. Here goes:’ If you watched the City of Phoenix fireworks on the 4thof July at Encanto Park that were set off on an island in the Lagoon or if you sat on the grassy slope in front of Encanto’s Bandshell and watch the entertainment at War Bond Drives,  you might be a native.

Do  you remember skating at the roller rink at  Five Points or going next door to Uptons for ice cream sodas to cool off? Maybe you had a cone from the very first Soft Serve ice cream machine in Phoenix, at the little restaurant on West Jefferson and l7th Ave.

Did you help the streetcar conductor turn all the benches the other direction for the trip back downtown at the end of the line  on 19^th Ave and Adams. Or did you go with your folks out to the Japanese farms on West Northern to pick the strawberries that were left in the field after the first crop was picked. Or maybe you remember the Vegetable Man (every neighborhood had one) who drove down the alley two or three times a week with fresh veggies for sale from his open-sided truck.

Did you watch the A-l Queens and the PBS Ramblers play in the old Joe Hunt Stadium on l9th Ave and Grand Ave? Did you ever go to the Strand or the Rialto on Saturday mornings? Better yet, was the Fox Leaders club movies on West Washington. And do  you remember the giant city Christmas Tree in the middle of Central and Washington, standing on a large platform in all it’s holiday glory.

Have you ever picked a Pomegranate from the hedge row along the railroad tracks on your way from school to nibble on. Maybe your dad brought home a truck bed full of over ripe cantaloupes from the packing sheds out on Grand Ave. They were too ripe for shipping but just right for eating and all the neighbors loved them!

If you watched the Rodeo  Parade on North Central every year and if Monty Montana and his trick horse came to your school during Rodeo week, and you remember the JayCees chasing down anyone on the downtown  area not dressed western and fineing them, you might be a native.

If you swam at the Riverside pool and had the nerve to go down the gigantic slide or last but not least, dropped from a rope on a Cottonwood tree into the cool water of an irrigation ditch below, you REALLY might be a native.

If you answered yes to a few of my questions, you just MIGHT BE A NATIVE!