Funny thing happened on the way to Surgery

By

Gerry Niskern

When I asked my PC doctor if he thought I was too old for knee surgery, he answered. “Oh I think you would do fine. You are a young 85!” Those are what is known as  “famous last words.”

You see, for quite a while I had had a left knee that was killing me every time Iwalked a little more than usual. I wanted to have knee replacement and get on with my life.

I got a referral for a knee surgeon who was supposed to be “the best” in the valley. What didn’t realize was that lot’s of other issues can occur after surgery; but I was about to find out.

On the day of scheduled surgery I was in the pre-op room after having a spinal block when they came in and announced that the AC wasn’t acting right in the operating room and we would have to reschedule for the next week. OK, that was fine, but guess what, I couldn’t move for eight hours until the feeling came back into my legs and other essential parts.

After making new arrangements for family members to help, since it was summer vacation time, I returned a week later. Afterwards I found out that I didn’t have the normal Aqua style bandage on the stitches that can be showered with, I was informed that I had the old style dressing that had to  be changed twice a day and by the way, “when we ripped off some tape in the operating room we ripped off a chunk of skin, so that has to be dealt  with separately!

I was expecting to be out and about in two weeks like my other knee surgery, but nobody told me that twelve years makes a big difference! I was walking fine for a couple of days and then I developed a PINCHED NERVE in my back and couldn’t move without stabbing pain. After accepting the generous help of family and close friends, I realized that I couldn’t impose on them forever and I turned to an agency for round the clock help. Let me just say here that some of the ladies were very good, and some were very bad!

During the month of August I had a trip to Emergency for painful stomach that evidently couldn’t take all the stress and new medications. The following day I had a trip to the emergency again with a new, very strange pain gripping my chest that I thought was a heart attack. The 6 or 7 Paramedics stood watching while a young member of their team tried to insert a needle into my arm. I looked around in time to see blood spurting across my bed. Nice to know this is how the new kid get to practice! The heart was fine, but the stomach doctor wants more tests!

After a Cat scan for the stomach in the hospital they discovered that I also have a Compression Fracture in my back. No one knows where I got it. Couldn’t possibly be when they pick you up to do the Cat scan and PLOP you down. So now I’m told to take it even easier than I was.

Did I mention that I had a couple of emergency visits from the plumber with everything backing up in the shower , toilet and washer.

So can we all agree? The next time  someone mentions Surgery, let’s all get together and NOT GO!